Gary’s Teeth

I’m sorry! I’m Sorry! It’s been a busy few weeks with Red Sox back in season, Bruins and Celtics in the playoffs and almost complete loss over the control of the television. ALMOST.

Real Housewives of Miami Reunion

Thank God it’s over.

Real Housewives of New York

So I liked Alex a lot last year but now that Bethenny is off this show, clearly Alex sees the void of the mouthy one and feels like she needs to fill it. I’ll just say this – if I looked like a white gaunt skeletal Gumby with receding teeth and had a husband who had beady eyes and skin like an iguana, I wouldn’t be mouthing off to anyone…I’d be to afraid of the type of insult I might get back. Could do permanent damage. But I guess what do I really know… she’s a model now after all. She wouldn’t drop Jill knowing/not-knowing about her going to the wedding and then Jill possibly not making it to the marriage equality march even though she was on the committee. Deep breaths, Alex – these things don’t have an everlasting impact on your life.

Speaking of the marriage equality march… I love Sonja, but holy schnikes! I think LuAnn summed it up best when she said Alex and Simon didn’t have the best timing in approaching her right before she took the stage as the grand marshal, but Sonja needed to know it wasn’t about Sonja. Who cares if Simon said a few words to the crowd? No one would listen to him anyway…so what’s the harm? And then Sonja confused marriage equality with gay rights. Up there on the podium she reminded me of like a drunk aunt who gets away with the things she says because she giggles. Or me when my nieces start turning 18…. I’m basically  there with my 16 year old niece. Such a role model.

Now I’d like to do a photo montage of the cast of HWNY and their hideous wardrobe choices (reminder, we are only 2 episodes in… it can only get worse – EEK!  I’m so excited!)

Simon: I get it. It’s rainbow in honor of the gays. But because it’s you and you probably have had that in your closet for years and didn’t buy it for this march AND you added a tropical 80’s cumberbund… Shame on you.

Jill: I certainly hope you all watch Watch What Happens Live on Sundays and Thursdays, because it might just be a thousand times more entertaining than any of the shows on Bravo. In any event, Ramona and Jill were on last week and HOLY MIDLIFE CRISIS BATMAN! Jill apparently dropped her trademark bangs and red hair to be a Madonna impersonator. 1 – nice rhinestoned cuffed pleather leggings 2- No one should wear a top that has more trim than a Victorian house on the English countryside 3 – You’re too old for a hair extension ponytail 4 – when you stand up, you need to get your camel toe out of my face.

Ginger: Komono in honor of the latest earthquake in Japan on WWHL? Since when do you start wearing clothes? Oh since my man Giggy on HWBH does? And I noticed you’ve got a Twitter too. Get off Giggy’s nuts. I will not follow you. (Yes, I’m fully aware I brought a dog into this.)

Sonja: Lose the bows. You’re almost 50 (even if you look 20).

Alex: Where do I begin? Holy crap – the S&M outfit to go to an art unveiling. Really? Really?

I can’t crap on her taste completely… we both have an Aidan Mattox dress that I wore to my boyfriend’s sister’s wedding last summer. Check us out!

Me.

Her

Mob Wives

WHAT. How do their families not forbid them from doing this? And how aren’t they all in hiding after they started talking about not “waiting” while their men are in prison? I’m not going to lie but I’m actually afraid to state my opinion on this show because I don’t know who is going to knock on my door and break my knees. I mean, God knows I’ll be home watching TV. And I’d probably have a leg cramp from sitting so long that I’d just surrender.. let them beat me with a crowbar. So I’ll just keep it as this: I didn’t love it but I’m going to continue to watch it in respect of my Jersey love (let’s face it, it’s the female cast of JS, just as grown-ups), absolute and utter fear for my life, and I’d never look away from a potentially good cat fight or even a dead body. Oh the possibilities!

Audrina

WTF. Her mom needs to go to an AA meeting- STAT. I understand how they are trying to market this show – that her family keeps her grounded- but still don’t see the point of it. From the looks of it, I don’t see what stableness she could possibly be attaining… let’s recap- Her mom needs solitary confinement, I’m shocked her sister with the tats doesn’t just walk around spraying people in the face with mace with how defensive she is, her brother is a mooch and her dad and other sister only smile. Actually, I’d need them around too to make myself feel normal too. But like with Mob Wives, I’ll continue watching because if I even have a slight chance of seeing Speidi… I’m there. You know me, I love trainwrecks and mental breakdowns of any sort, so naturally Heidi and her surgeries have me missing her like crazy.

Celebrity Apprentice

Gary Busey got kicked off! OMG! I only watch this show because NeNe Leakes from Housewives of Atlanta is on it and now I’m hooked. Every week you think Gary is going to get kicked off because he doesn’t form solid sentences, doesn’t make sense, can’t work with a team, forgets what he says, forgets what the task is… but no, every week Trump saves him and sends someone else who is a thousand times more competent than him home. I was completely convinced that Gary could do naked snow angels on Trump’s desk and then shoot puppies right between the eyes in a line-up and still not get fired. But alas, I was wrong.

I don’t understand how everyone on the woman’s team could hate LaToya Jackson. The lady grew up with Michael Jackson, people! Blood relative! I think she’s actually good on the team, but whatever…. if anyone should be getting away with Gary Busey’s actions, it should be LaToya Jackson. Then you can just chalk it up to being a Jackson, for crying out loud. But she doesn’t do that, they just don’t like her. I don’t like them (except NeNe)! So there.

On a side note… his [Gary] teeth are ridic. I wouldn’t be able to look at him if he were talking straight to me. Does he floss? Do you tell him if he had food in his teeth or do you think he’d just know because they are so huge? Can you imagine the impression on a WonderBread sandwich he would have with just a bite? Holy crap.

Moral of the Story: Watch what you wear, watch what you say because you never know when Gary Busey or a Mob Wife will come looking for you.

Just a Thought: I’m currently obsessed with Hugh’s uni-brow on Top Chef Masters. Are you?

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