Posts tagged Hoarding

Bananas!

You Go Boy!

Early December, I woke up super early to get the laptops set up and my credit cards ready because Sox Pax tickets (multiple tickets to multiple games) and NKOTBSB tickets were going on sale the same morning.Yes, I’m a loser…. but it worked! I got tickets for both. So on Opening Day against the Yankees, myself, Miah and our friends Mary & John met up for some day drinking and baseball. First the parking was insane, worse than usual, so we had to park further away and take a rickshaw to Landsdowne Street. Since I’m mature, I had to snap a pic of the pedaler’s bum.

Looks Good, Right?

Oh Wait. Not so much.

We were all excited to see the seats that I woke up early for, had 4 computers going for, am practically in debt for… oh and isn’t the view spectacular? Oh wait. You can’t see the batters box. I didn’t know who was swinging, if we had a catcher, what the call was, etc. I didn’t mind too, too much because Mary and I were too busy making friends with people around us and talking about Bravo tv. In any event…. just my luck.

Housewives of Orange County

Gretchen is such a bitch. I am no Slade fan but tubbawubba? Are you serious? I was actually proud of him that he said something to her about her constantly making fun of his weight. And typical girl, she turns it around and makes it like she’s upset. I’m not shitting on girls, I do it too..and I’m a girl. But if you’ve watched the show since the beginning, you know that he wore the pants in the relationship with Jo and would call her out on every little thing she did that he didn’t like. Now he’s with Gretchen, way out of his league and keeping them afloat financially, and he isn’t allowed to do anything without her approval. Oh how the tables have turned! But karma related or not, I don’t like it. I felt bad for him that she took him and her dogs, the ‘fat turds’ to the park to get some exercise. Imagine if he started commenting on the mole on her face? Oh God I wish he would. But like I said, she is way out of his league and he knows better.

This is slightly psychotic, but I can’t help it, there is a scene when she is leaving her house and by her door, there is a sunglasses rack. Like instead of a coat rack, she has a 50 sunglasses display case like you’d see at Lenscrafters. Laaahhhhuuuu-ssssaaaahhhheeeerrr.

Extreme Couponing

I saw a special on this over the winter time and was shocked that this could be done. I mean, my friend Pauline can go into CVS and get $30 worth of stuff for like $8 but I didn’t know it was humanly possible for someone to walk into a grocery store and get hundreds of dollars worth of food for like two bucks… baffles me. Of course, after I saw this, I put on my new years resolution list to use coupons more. One of the 15 resolutions I haven’t even tried to uphold. I just like making lists.

So I came to the conclusion that this is a full time job. These people subscribe to websites for a fee for coupons to be mailed to them, they dumpster dive looking for coupons people threw away, they have excel lists keeping track of what they have in their bomb shelters and what they might need, etc. I’m sorry, if we get hit with a nuclear bomb – although your basement might be able to feed you for 50 plus years, you’ll be dead, it won’t matter. Your stock pile full of 300 tubes of toothpaste, 100 bottles of teriyaki sauce and 60 cans of stewed tomatoes, isn’t going to save you. (Unless your name is Bear from Man vs. Wild – who can start a fire using water and ice).

In one of the more recent episodes, as well as in the special I saw in the winter, there was a guy named Ethan. Some of his greatest accomplishments included 1100 boxes of cereal for $150 (a $4000 value) and 700 bottles of body wash – I don’t remember the deal on that one. His long fingernails had me sidetracked. I don’t trust men with weird hands or long fingernails. DO NOT TRUST ETHAN. His stockpile was ridiculous – although he did help with care packages for soldiers…. what do you really need with all of that other stuff? I have a hard enough time fitting all my shoes in my closet, where the hell would I store a 1 ton crate of Grape Nuts cereal? Not to mention Ethan drives a Prius with a trailer hitch on the back. LOL I swear to God, if I saw him on the highway I would run him right off the road. BUT…. the two faced person I am – I would love to be friends with him – you know, in the off chance that I go broke and hungry or if his stock pile really does pan out in a nuclear war. I could probably just clip coupons and stalk stores for sales myself, but I’m busy. I’m watching TV and eating Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. I can only do so much.

Hoarding – Buried Alive

I usually don’t write about these shows because they are sensitive and these people really do have problems, but I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT Kelain and her boyfriend Kevin. I won’t go into too much detail except to say this: she collects hats, frog statues, stuffed penguins, giraffes and koala bears and …. you ready? BANANAS! Rotting, black, bananas. She puts the banana peels on the ceiling fan like a mobile for a baby. She collects these things because they love her and she loves them. Here’s her pic. God love her.

Moral of the Story: Ethan should get Kelain some bananas with a few of his coupons. Maybe Slade too.

Just a Thought: Scream 4? Just when I thought I’d never have to see Neve Campbell ever again.

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