My Wednesday recap.

My Strange Addiction

I can honestly say that I don’t think I’ve ever been addicted to anything that has been life altering in my whole existence. Believe it or not, I’m including television. I think the closest thing I could say would be J.Crew or online shopping in general. Speaking of, where is my Patagonia package I’m waiting for? (They are having a great sale, FYI). But I’ve always been fascinated by it. Several people close to me in life have/had addictive habits and because I never have – I am so intrigued about how it happens. I have never done a drug in my life, not even pot, so drug addiction, is something I really am interested in learning about- I love the show Intervention, I love reading books on that addiction in particular, because it all helps me understand the root of it.

With that said, Davecat’s obsession on this most recent episode, well, uh, that’s something I still can’t understand. Davecat is addicted to his Real Doll, Sidore. She’s silicon and they have wedding rings. I would love to have attended that ceremony, if it really happened. There would be no one to talk to, and the people who are actually alive, have a serious action figure collection. After a few drinks, I’d think this was awesome, I’m sure. Gays can’t get married in most places but people are allowed to marry inanimate objects? You win again corporate America! Engraved in the inside of their rings, it says, “Synthetic Love Lasts Forever.” I wish I could have seen my own face when he said that. I of course, had to watch this in the other room, because my boyfriend was having nothing to do with this. So I didn’t have anyone to share this joyous moment with. Bummer.

In this episode, Davecat and an enabling friend of his (with a pulse) went shopping for the wifey. Literally said, “going shopping for the Mrs.” I don’t think I blinked at all, actually now thinking back on it. They were DEAD SERIOUS PICKING OUT CLOTHES FOR A FAKE PERSON. Do you think she’ll like this? Is this a little too office? Well, she likes the office look. WHAT? It reminds me of one time when I was waitressing with my friend Court and she had this table that requested a high chair for the daughter’s teddy bear. Ok fine. Then when she went over and asked them for drinks, they all ordered and the little girl asked for a milk for the bear. She looked at the parents for consent, as they would have to spend money on this beverage that won’t be enjoyed by anyone, and they were ok with it. Not water, milk. So she comes back and is telling me about it and we get into this conversation about what would happen if she just flipped out on her. Like, your bear’s mouth doesn’t open. It can’t enjoy food. It doesn’t have a stomach and won’t digest anything you try to give it. Your bear is made of stuffing. It doesn’t have an appetite, feelings or a soul. In fact, your bear doesn’t even love you. We were crying we were laughing so hard, and in the end we didn’t tell her and the bear got the milk.

So they sent a therapist to his house and Davecat said he likes the synthetic option because he can’t deal with people’s inconsistencies, really. Ha! Then did a snicker afterward. Have you ever seen the SNL skit with Jimmy Fallon as the IT guy? I know for a fact, this guy is an IT guy who thinks he’s smarter than you. But even the therapist that came to his apartment, talked to him for a few minutes and then was basically answering the questions that he was asking, “So you resort to this because it doesn’t hurt anyone?” Davecat would say yes. You know he was doing that so he could get the f out of there…which naturally, 2 seconds later he was walking out the door. In my personal opinion, that therapist was like, I don’t even want to try. This guy makes me feel so uncomfortable, I need to get out of here STAT.

Here is the link for the SNL skit: http://www.hulu.com/watch/19050/saturday-night-live-nick-burns

The other addiction in this episode was about a girl who was obsessed with picking her scabs. I couldn’t watch it because it was making me sick, but in the end summary, she got a staff infection and had to postpone her wedding because she wanted to focus on curing her addiction. I’m be pissed if I were her husband. Yuck.

There was a BBC documentary on Davecat a few years ago that I had seen, so I’m posting it here, so you too, can experience the creepiness. Also, good news! My friend Melissa just messaged me that Davecat has a fanpage on FB (which I’m a fan of) and Sidore has a Twitter account. I’m following the shit out of her. You can too: http://twitter.com/leahtype

American Idol

I can’t believe that 15 year olds look like 20 year olds these days. When I was 15… I had a perm that was growing out, so it was like half straight on the top, then a frizzy mess toward the bottom. I had braces and wore sweatpants everyday. Clearly, a total catch.

Couple standouts to me:

Steven Tyler is insane.

J-Lo’s music note shirt. WTF.

Jerome, the kid who sang at Bar Mitzvah’s. He was really good but he moved too much for the song he was singing, Let’s get it On. Miah was like, why is he moving so much, he’s making me nervous.

The Green Bay Packer girl opera singer. WTF. Everyone knows I have Beiberfever…how dare you try to make a joke out of my little loverboy. I hate you and your stupid patriotic buttondown shirt.

Chris Medina… uh, unbelievable. Thanks for making me sob alone on the couch on a Wednesday night, brother. How incredible is this kid? I hope he makes it to the top 5 and I hope I get him in my Idol pool.

Moral of the Story: Synthetic love lasts forever… as does Beiberfever.

Thought of the Day: Remembering The Challenger and Christa McAuliffe. And the Punky Brewster episode where she was depressed about it.

1 Response so far »

  1. 1

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