Free Snooki

Hi kids. Hope you’re all doing well today! I’ve been getting some emails, texts and Facebook posts about showing the picture of my head from the story I posted yesterday. I am the most squeamish person alive so I was hesitant to put them up last night in case other people had a weak stomach like me, but ok…. you asked for it!

Hole in my head, NBD.

Sorry, I know it’s gross. The cut looked like an unseasoned piece of tuna steak. It is a little sore today, but the bigger problem I have going is the bruise that formed right under my female sideburn. Sweet. Just what I need, something to accentuate my facial hair. As if my unwaxed eyebrows weren’t bad enough… If I keep this up, I’ll be single soon.

So let’s talk about some reality tv, shall we? Two of my non-Bravo favorites were on last night and then I caught a repeat of another fav today. Let’s go!

Jersey Shore

Could Sammi suck any more? Go home. Granted, I am positive I used to act like that in high school, (HIGH SCHOOL), like needy, clingy and annoying (keep your comments to yourself on the annoying…), did the mind games with my boyfriend if he was out of my sight for 10 minutes but that’s what you do at that age when you begin your first real relationship. I know not all situations are like that, but this girl is in her 20’s and although her relationship must bring up many trust issues that we can’t relate to not being in the spotlight and having temptation in your face more than the average person, but with all that considered… she still really sucks.

Ronnie is a goon in my opinion, but I think in Miami, he realized that the thing about being on a reality show is that everything you do is taped for everyone to see, including his girlfriend. So, he’s clearly on his best behavior this season. You have to give him credit for catching on to how cameras and television work… I mean, he IS made of Xenadrine and hair gel, give the kid a break.

But last night when out of nowhere she had a feeling he was up to something and tried to get him to admit it, I felt bad for him. I hate that feeling when you know you’ve done nothing wrong but someone thinks that you’re guilty. He probably had some bad dairy and had to take a #2, was out of her sight for 30 minutes (or 45 depending on the magazine) and is now being punished for it. I mean, this kid is with her 24/7 whether it be at the gym (when he lifts and she does the speed/incline level 1 on the Obviously he finds this relationship exciting.treadmill for easy stalking visibility) or laying flat on his back staring at the ceiling in her bed when she doesn’t feel like socializing…. his life has sucked dating her and the world sees it. Not to mention he’s probably getting bedsores. Eww.

On to my favorite life-mess, Snooki. I know I’ve had this conversation with my group of girlfriends before – about how she’s annoying or whatever, but ask yourself this question: what would JS be without her? I think the stars aligned when this cast (minus Angelina and Deena) of characters came together. I can’t imagine it any other way. What’s not to love about her? I know she’s slightly over the top, but she is who she is. She likes smoking, ‘gorilla juiceheads’, wearing animal slippers in public and then wearing those same slippers to bed, Ed Hardy hats, and letting old men take body shots off of her – everything I am completely against, but I don’t know, people like that hold a special place in my heart. Hence, my obsession with Britney Spears during the K-Fed years. I can’t help but love her.

You can tell that the JS kids have made it solely by the way their boss Danny is with them this season. The first season Angelina was kicked off the show because she refused to go to work, but this season when Snooki showed up in a blanket and slippers, snuck beers in the back room, and then left to go get deep fried pickles and a Long Island Iced Tea, Danny kind of laughed it off. I think he had to, I mean they have probably made that t-shirt shop a huge tourist attraction. I know if I ever go to the Jersey Shore (which is most likely never), I’m going there and getting the most obnoxious-rhinestoned-Armani Exchange-replica t-shirt to wear on Jersdays in replacement of my JS drinking game t-shirt my sister made me and the “I punched Snooki” t-shirt I got two Christmas’ ago from a co-worker. I need something a little more authentic.

Obviously the highlight of the episode was Snooki getting arrested and Deena crying about it. God love her, and God love JWow for running into the ocean to save the Gucci bag. That could have been a disaster and I respect her priorities.

Waaahhh

Grenade

Bad Girls Club *Disclaimer – I don’t condone violence, but this show is like a boxing match and you have to root for someone*

I love this show, it  is pretty much everything that I should be against as a Women Studies major, but like the Snooki/Britney thing – I can’t help it. For those of you who watch it, what do you think about Nikki? I can’t believe no one has ripped her eyeballs out I'm a tomboy, bro. yet. They voted her out of the house but she won’t leave which um, hello – do you realize that you signed up for a show that historically is full of ladies that will pour bleach on your bed and throw your luggage in the pool if they don’t like you? Looks like we’re going to have another Ronnie/Sammi situation here and Nikki won’t be leaving her bed anytime soon. Peeing? No. Making a sandwich? No way. Showering? Absolutely not. And those are just activities that are around the house. Good luck with that one, bro.

She drives me insane. And I’m telling you right now that if the limo scene in this episode took place 3 years ago in Jose McIntyre’s right around midnight, let’s just say she’d be outnumbered by a group of girls with a small amount of patience. Luckily, she’s from Jersey, much younger than me and my friends and I are in a much mature place these days…allegedly.

Since this season is only on the 2nd episode, I don’t have too much to report. Except Nikki needs to go home and I can’t wait until next Monday’s episode to see how the violent mosh-pit in the kitchen shakes out. Giggity, giggity.

Jerseylicious

Let’s just say until I saw this most recent episode, I did not like Frankie. The sleeveless t’s, no sideburns (if I have them, men should have them), the emotionless demeanor and almost inaudible slur of a voice that reminds me of Casey Affleck trying to speak der.normally…. it’s all a little too much for me. HOWEVER, there was redemption when in attempt to mend a fight with Gigi, he brought her somewhere to talk about it….Sonic. He’s out of the dog house in my book and I hope he got the corndog.

Moral of the Story: If you don’t want to be there or aren’t wanted, don’t be there – or go to Sonic and talk about it.

Just a Thought: I watched Oprah today in Australia and koala bears are actually really, really ugly but because they cuddle people think they are cute. I guess that explains a couple of my past boyfriends.

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1 Response so far »

  1. 1

    lindsay said,

    BETH- your freakin’ head! You sure you don’t need stitches?! ouch!!

    Unfortunately, I can’t comment on JS because I missed last nights episode. I don’t watch bad girls club either, I’m boring. However, I do watch Jerseylicious and usually mute it when Frankie is talking. His hair is a toss up between Frankenstein or one of the boys on Growing up Gotti, he’s a little late with the no sideburns thing.


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